my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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