The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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