You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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