I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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