i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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