shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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