Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
