she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
