Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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