Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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