This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
