I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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