No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
