If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
