i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
how drunk are you?
Several
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize