Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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