the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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