You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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