I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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