Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
