i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
