I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's blow job season.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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