It's just like the Real World with babies
Operation Purity has been aborted
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
