My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
