He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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