Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize