We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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