I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
