i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Never underestimate the power of titties
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
