At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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