he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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