we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
