I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize