just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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