as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
