im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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