I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
