My friends, they love my intelligence
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
