I just threw up on my dentist
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
