my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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