If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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