She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Randomize
