Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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