"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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