If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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