Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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