I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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