you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
