She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
