It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I am puke
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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