Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
