why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
