your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
