ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
