Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
