remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
