TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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