so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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