I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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