New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize