I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
