Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
